7 Easy Ways To Discipline Your Child
Every parent faces a dilemma on how to discipline their children. Often, they consult the internet to solve this problem.
But did you know that there are 7 easy ways to discipline your child to make him behave positively?
If you’re sick and tired of your old methods of disciplining him and notice that there aren’t any results, well, have you tried any of the ways below?
Check out these 7 different ways in disciplining your tot and find out what suits him best to change his behavior positively. You’ll be surprised how it will change your behavior too, for the better.
Be A Disciplinarian, In A Good Way
Now, you cannot discipline a child without being a disciplinarian. However, more often than not, we tend to misunderstand what being a disciplinarian should be.
According to positiveparentingsolutions.com, discipline comes in a Latin word, meaning teaching and learning.
You should be Consistent with your Rules
To be a good disciplinarian, you should always be consistent with your rules. Many experts believe that this should be the number one thing to ponder to be a good disciplinarian.
Dr. Michael Brody, MD, child psychiatrist, as cited in webmd.com, "Parents just are not consistent in enforcing rules.”
This is the common mistake we, parents, commit. We tend to break our rules because we fear that our children may not like us anymore because we have strict rules for them to follow.
"If kids don’t know what to expect from their parents, they never really know what the rules are," Dr. Brody adds.
Make your Rules Clear
Additionally, one of the mistakes we often commit aside from not being consistent with our rules is we, parents, tend to make vague rules, which even ourselves cannot understand why and what’s the purpose of the rules we set.
Webmd.com notes that it is important to “be sure to explain the rules of the house when you can speak clearly and your child is not too upset to listen.”
“It is also necessary to explain to kids what you expect of them.” (kidshealth.org)
Take note that the number one reason for our rules should be for our kids’ safety and security. All the other reasons for the rules we set come second to this.
Set Consequences for Breaking the Rules
It is as much as important to instil in a child that if he breaks the rules, there should be consequences he should face. Consequences should be related to the rules a child breaks.
For example, if your child messes his room, the consequences should also be about cleaning his room, and not spanking. You can tell him that he can’t watch TV or play outside IF he won’t clean his room first.
Give a Reward where and when it is Due
If your child follows the set rules and standards, wouldn’t it be nice to make him feel good by giving him a reward?
Child psychiatrist Mason Turner said as cited by webmd.com "You’ll get a lot further with positive reinforcement than negative reinforcement."
In the article wikiHow to Discipline a Child, “Being empathetic means being able to appreciate your child's struggles, problems, and feelings, and considering why your child might be acting out.”
Talk to your Child
When he breaks his own toy and cries and tends to get aggressive, communicate with him by telling him that you understand how he feels. Ask him if being aggressive can bring his toy back into its original form. Then it’s also a good time to tell him that he can have a new toy IF and WHEN he behaves properly or if he will help you do the house chores.
Set his Experience as an Example
Now you can also set his experience as an example why he should not break other kid’s toys. Remind him how he felt when he broke his own toy. In this way, he will also learn how to be empathetic of others.
"So the sooner you help them understand that everybody has feelings and emotions, the less likely they'll be to behave in ways that annoy or hurt other people,” Steven E. Curtis, Ph.D., said in parents.com.
Give Your Kids The Attention They Deserve
People are naturally born attention-seekers. Now, if kids don’t get any attention they want, they will do everything, even negatively, just to get an attention.
Positiveparentingsolutions.com suggests “that just taking a few minutes a day to spend one-on-one with your child, distraction-free and doing something they want to do, will reap immense rewards in their behavior.”
Train Them To Have Problem-Solving Skills
One of the best ways to discipline a child is to train him how to make better choices.
For example, if he messes up his room, ask him what kind of room does he want to sleep in? A messy room or a neat and tidy one?
"When you give children the tools they need to figure things out on their own, they will behave better because they'll be better equipped to take care of themselves," Dr. Robert Brooks, Ph.D., said as cited by parents.com.
Practice Your Tots The Art Of Patience
Children are naturally impatient. This is because “children survive by letting their needs be known immediately," Michael Osit, EdD, says in parents.com.
Make them Wait and Validate their Feeling
You need to practice them to wait so that they won’t misbehave when the time comes they feel the impulse to get what they want. If he has the impulse to own the toys he wants at the very moment, don’t give in immediately.
"Allow your child to feel the unpleasantness of waiting because it's a great change agent," Dr. Osit added on the same website.
Tell your tot that you know it’s frustrating to wait but also praise her if she’s being patient. In this way, the more you validate your child's struggle with something, the more likely he'll try harder, Dr. Brooks added in parents.com.
Involve your Kids in Activities that require Patience
There are activities that require patience and offer beautiful results when your kid is patient. Planting a flowering seedling for example.
Let your daughter or son know that sometimes there are beautiful things that come out when he or she is being patient.
Be A Role Model
The very first and most frequent persons they see are the both of you, their parents, every day. So whether you like it or not, your behavior will give a lasting impression to your child than your words.
Remember that children are the best imitator. So make sure to let them imitate how you wanted them to behave.
If you behave rudely, chances are no matter how much you lecture them to behave nicely, they won’t.
According to the author of the book Parenting with Love and Logic, Jim Fay, as cited by webmd.com, "the number one way human beings learn is through imitation and copy."
Take Timeouts For You And Your Kids
When everything seems out of hand, the best thing to do is to buy yourself a time to figure out what needs to be done. It is important for you to understand, especially at this moment, that no one is perfect. Even yourself.
At the same time, it’s also good for your child to figure out what he has done wrong and how severe the wrong he has done. In this way, he can ponder on his behavior and what is the result of that certain behavior.
Buying time for your kids “gives your child room to connect his behavior to the outcome.” (webmd.com)
"You don’t have to get angry at kids, you don’t have to yell. Just allow it to become their problem," added Fay in webmd.com.
No one ever said that rearing a child is a walk in the park. However, there are ways to make the process more a breeze.
It is important to know these ways to help you discipline your child in a more positive way.
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